Thomas L. Shaffer

4 weeks ago today, I became a father. This life event has catapulted up to the top of the list. I can’t say for certain it has ousted hugging Conan O’Brien, but it’s up there. In the first four weeks, I’ve learned the following:

• Poop happens - you are going to get pooped on and it is going to happen at the worst time. For me, that would be the first doctor visit.
• You’re getting warmer - spit happens. it is warm. it is warm spit that travels slightly below the speed of light. Always have a spit rag handy.
• What’s television - watching tv, previously second on my “what do you want to do?” list, has taken a tumble. No longer am I drilling through show after show on the dvr. Thankfully it’s summer.
• Moms are better - No matter how hard I try, mothers always know best. I’ll stick to the grill where I know I can dominate.